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我见过的师生间的最奇葩对话  

2015-04-29 10:20:01|  分类: 默认分类 |  标签: |举报 |字号 订阅

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我见过的师生间的最奇葩对话

3

One of my teachers told us how he had retorted to his own teacher at the end of a heated debate-
Teacher- So you think you know more than me? Son I have 1000 times the knowledge you have.
Student- Sir. My knowledge is zero.
*Teacher leaves the lecture hall*
我的一位老师曾告诉我们他如何在一场热火朝天的辩论末尾反驳他自己的老师——
老师:所以你认为你知道的东西比我多?孩子,我的知识储备量是你的一千倍。
学生:先生,我的知识储备量是零。
他的老师离开了演讲厅。

 

Teacher pointing out the scale towards a student and said "At the end of this scale , there is an Idiot..."
Student replied calmly , "Which end…?" is mentioned...
有一次一位老师拿着她的尺子指着学生说:“在尺子的末端是一个傻瓜!”
学生:女士,请问是尺子的哪一端?

 

Teacher- Whoever will give the right answer to my next question can go home.
Teacher- Who threw that bag?
Rocky- Me. Now I am going home.
Read somewhere on facebook.
老师:谁回答出了我的下一个问题,他就能回家了。(突然,Rocky把他的书包扔出了窗外。)
老师:那个包是谁扔的?
Rocky:是我。现在我要回家了。
从脸书上看到的。

 

Teacher : "Use a word ten times, and it shall be yours for life."
From somewhere in the back of the room, came a small male voice chanting, "Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda."
老师:将一个词使用十遍,它就会永远成为你的。
教室后面传来了一些响动,一男声小声地将一位女生的名字念了十遍。

 

We had this really annoying teacher (T) whom, naturally none of us liked. So this one day, he picks on my friend (F) and what began as a telling-off for talking in class or something (I don't really remember) turned into a casual chit-chat in a tone that our entire class could hear:
T: Why don't you sit quietly in class?
F: (diplomatic silence)
T: What's your father?
(Implying, "What is your father's occupation?" This is a means of judging a student, and an often sought after ground to advise him/her on)
F: He is an electrical engineer sir
T: Oh, where did he do his engineering?
F: At Anna University sir
(A prestigious University in Tamil Nadu, India)
T: Oh, just like me!!
F: (After a pause) No, sir, he really studied at Anna University
Needless to say, the whole class burst out laughing.
我们都很讨厌一位老师,称他T好了。有天他准备挑我的朋友F的刺。
T:为何你不能安静地坐在课堂上?
F:(没说话)
T:你父亲是做什么的?(他要以此来判断是否能得罪我的朋友。)
F:他是一名电气工程师。
T:那他在哪里高就呢?
F:在安那大学(印度的一流学府)。
T:哦,就和我一样么!!
F:(停顿了一下)不,先生,他是真的在安那大学搞研究。
整个课堂爆发出一阵笑声。

 

A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day. “In English,” he said, “a double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.” A voice from the back of the room piped up, “Yeah, right.”
一位语言学教授一天正在教授英语课。他说:“在英语中,双重否定表示肯定。不过在某些语言中,比如俄语,双重否定仍然表示否定。然而,没有哪一种语言的双重肯定能表示否定。”教室里有人说:“是啊,没错。”

 

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's
cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his
father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
老师:乔治·华盛顿不仅砍到了他父亲的樱桃树,他还承认了这一点,Louie,你知道为何他的父亲没有惩罚他吗?
Louie:因为乔治的手里仍然拿着斧子。

 

My sister's mate at school got told, 'You must've been at the back of the queue when God was giving out brains.' She replied, quick as a flash, 'At least I was in the queue.'
我姐姐的朋友曾被讽刺太笨,那人说她在上帝分发脑子的时候,站到了队列的末尾。她则不假思索地说,起码我站到了队伍里。

Teacher: ‘Nihal, you know you can't sleep in my class.'
Nihal: 'I know. But maybe if you were just a little quieter, I could.'
老师:Nihal,你在我的课上不能睡觉。
Nihal:我知道。不过如果你能小声点说话,我就能睡着。

 

Most embarassing comebacks I've heard in highschool:
Teacher: "Pay attention Andy, or you'll end up being a garbage collector."
Andy: "Sir, my father used to be a garbage collector. Is there anything wrong with that?"
Teacher, flushing: "Errr... no of course not. But you could be a doctor or a scientist instead. Don't you think your father will be very proud of you?"
Andy: "Sir, my father died last year."
EDIT: Don't feel sorry for Andy too much. I should have mentioned that Andy was a smart but cynical kid, only demonstrating to the teacher the nasty potential of the risks he was taking. Andy's father was neither dead nor a garbage man at the time.
老师:Andy,上课要认真听讲,不然你以后只能去收废品。
Andy:先生,我父亲就是回收废品的,这有什么不对吗?
老师:额……当然不。但如果你认真听讲你就会成为一名医生或者一名科学家。你不觉得这样一来你的父亲就会为你感到骄傲吗?
Andy:先生,我的父亲去年就去世了。
其实Andy的父亲不是收废品的,他也没去世,Andy这样说只是为了让老师下不来台。

 

Teacher: "Anyone who thinks he's stupid may stand up!"
*Nobody stands up*
Teacher: "I am sure there are some!!"
*Little Johnny stands up*
Teacher: "Ohh, Johnny you think you're stupid?"
Little Johnny: "No... I just feel bad that you're standing alone..."
老师:觉得自己愚不可及的人可以站起来!
没人站起来。
老师:我确信这里一定有笨蛋!
Johnny站起来了。
老师:你觉得你是笨蛋?
Johnny:不……我只是觉得不好意思让你一个人站在这里。

(来源:煎蛋网)

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